Wednesday, June 29

Mommy's Baby

Kylie came up to me about an hour ago, lifted up my shirt, pinched my fat roll (but that's totally beside the point), kissed my tummy and said, "I luh you Mommy's Baby."

My heart is in a puddle of melted goo.

Tuesday, June 28

A Black Cloud

There is a black cloud hovering over us today. I couldn't sleep last night and had an anxiety attack this morning. Why? Because this is Zach's last day at his job, he is moving on to tackle business ownership in the roof and floor truss industry. The main reason I care that he is leaving his current job is that he works for one of his best friends, who's wife is one of my best friends. I guess I'm worried it will effect our friendship, which we all swore it wouldn't, but it still gives me anxiety.

When Zach went to work for Pogue 2 years ago, he had been laid off from home building in the bad economy and Pogue was on a hiring freeze, but Ben took a chance on Zach anyway and it turned out to be a match made in Heaven. They worked so well together, became so close, traveled together and were just a great fit. Zach has made so many great friends there, grew so much spiritually through a mission trip and joining a prayer group with Ben and learned a lot about running a business while working so closely with Ben.
Zach had a couple of random offers and opportunities pop up here and there during his time at Pogue, but nothing made Zach take a second look. He was happy at Pogue and loved what he did. About a month ago a friend of our family made Zach an offer where he gets to own his own business (Zach's dream) and grow it. It is the kind of offer that seems almost too good to be true. Although it's less money at the beginning, the sky is the limit with earning potential which of course is very exciting. But just like any business owner knows, there is lots of risk as well.
I'm so excited for Zach to start this new journey, but so sad to let go of the past, the fun we had and the great experiences. I mean, not many people get to go to the company Christmas party and hang with their best friends or go on a company trip to Mexico, it's just been so fun and it's hard to say goodbye, but it's time.

Monday, June 27

Biggest Tiny News.

I would like to announce, although some may think I am crazy or just ate too many refried beans (not the case, at least not the beans), that I have indeed felt the baby move.

What?!?! Well, that's just not possible, what are you like 8 weeks?

Well, not so fast naysayers! I am almost 10 weeks and have been feeling the baby for a few days. It feels the same every time and it ain't no gas bubble. It isn't very often, maybe 2 or 3 times a day.

I felt Blake move at around 16 weeks and Kylie at 11, so it only seems right that I can feel mystery baby 3 at 9.5 weeks.

(S)he is a mover and a shaker, just what we need to liven up this boring household. Ha!

Thursday, June 23

Tankini Trials

I am not on the tankini/one piece train. How is it that tankinis look worse than 2 pieces on me?They accentuate all the worst areas and turn me into an instafrump. I tried on a few today and all of them looked about the same and all of them made me look lumpy. So I am not retiring my bikinis for the summer quite yet. The only time I have actually looked good in tankini was when I was pregnant with Blake and huge and there were frankly no other options a month before delivering a baby. I'm really not in a swim suit enough to even care, but if you see me and my belly is out, trust me, it's better than the tankini alternative.

Wednesday, June 22

The 12 day week

When I went to my first prenatal appointment I was pretty sure I was 8 weeks along. I still have no idea which day I ovulated or how the heck I even got pregnant the month I did because it just doesn't add up to me. Which of course makes me nervous that something may go terribly wrong, but it really doesn't cross my mind that often, especially with how yuck I have been feeling. When I look at the calendar and compare my notes to the baby's due date and when I got the positive test, it seems that either the baby implanted super late or I was horribly off with my calculations. Either way, it makes me nervous about a miscarriage which I have never had, but clearly would not like to experience.

So I thought my week changed on Fridays and when I got the ultrasound the baby measured 7 weeks 6 days making my week change on Wednesdays. So in my head I was 8 weeks pregnant for a week plus 5 days. It feels like I have been 8 weeks pregnant for 8 weeks. Finally today I am 9 weeks. I read that it will be the pinnacle of nausea this week. So far I feel nauseous every night, but never barf. The baby or "critter" is the size of a medium green olive and my uterus is the size of a grapefruit. Add a little spare bike tire to that grapefruit, from McDonald's, Mellow Mushroom and Don Pablo's cravings and you've got a pretty pregnant looking first trimester 3rd time mama. At least in the evenings. I am pulling off the rubber band jeans trick quite nicely, but definitely preferring dresses. My neighbor told me she was in full out maternity pants at 10 weeks with her 3rd, and although I don't think I will be there in 1 short week, I don't think I will be that far off.

This is the child

This is the child that basically analyzed risk all day and ran from anything a hair out of her comfort zone. This summer she isn't fearless, but she will try just about anything within reason and is loving the new Little Tykes water slide that we use at Ommy and GDad's house most weekends. And Kylie is in her shy and careful phase right now. Nothing like Blake's, but she isn't very daring at 2 years old.
And, not that anyone would even probably notice, but even though I am a photographer for a living, if I tried to take portrait quality pictures at all times I would drive myself nuts and have no time for anything besides photo editing. Which is practically how my life is anyway. So this blog is just snapshots, unedited, straight out of the camera, so nothing fancy. I'm not choosing optimum lighting, I'm just snapping some pics of the fam.
Back to the slide. I read quite a few reviews before we went out and bought this thing and it has been great. Zach has been a trooper with the disassembling, but putting it up is pretty easy. Lots of fun and I love that it's good exercise for Blake with constant climbing. And yes, I have slid down the slide many a time. Blake and I like to race. And my side of the contraption gets a little more deflated, but I figure there have to be some fat little ten year olds that weigh near what I do that use these types of things.

the "cheese" face

Blake likes to yell "cowabunga!" and do high kicks, well medium to low kicks, after each daring slide.

Friday, June 17

To Train or not to Train?

I'm going with not. I did my little Lora Jensen's 3 day potty training method this morning, it's only 10:42, so we have been at it for about 3 hours and I already feel like it's not good timing. Kylie seems so ready mentally, but she is dribbling little pee drips everywhere and not having much bladder control at all. I think if I hold off another 4 or 5 months we will get it done much more quickly and easily. Blake was 2 years 9 months and she really was ready on all fronts. So much for that idea. I do have to get her trained before this other baby arrives though.

Thursday, June 16


Here is our critter. 1.45 cm long. I forgot to ask what the heart rate was, but they said it was good and strong. I'm almost glad I don't know because Blake and Kylie's were both 164 at the first appointment. If it was one sixty something I would assume it's another girl. I am up a few lbs at 123 and although I am getting irritated by the plump little roll quickly developing on my tummy, I am way too hungry and picky to change my eating ways right now. That can come in the second trimester.

On my to do list: Get a swim suit with a bit more coverage for the remainder of the summer.
Get some zzzzzzs. Add to my roll with delicious food choices.

Sunday, June 12

Big Week.

This week is pretty exciting! I have 3 newborn sessions. Nothing will give you a case of baby fever like photographing them for 3 hours straight. Yes, my newborn sessions take about 3 hours, the longest and most strenuous of all of the sessions I do and probably one of my favorites. Besides newborn work, I really love pin up and boudoir, pretty much straight up opposites.

We all know I have my ob/gyn appointment on tuesday and I will be anxiously awaiting that first sonogram. I will not be anxiously awaiting stepping on the scale. I have been one hungry animal.
I start a new small group with my church on wednesday. It's all moms and it's led by an older mom, like probably my mom's age. This one is starting out new. The last one I really liked all the girls, but I got a weird feeling that they didn't really want anymore people when the leader told me they didn't have anymore books and to just look on with someone. Who wants to show up to a book study with no idea what the book is and no idea what anyone is talking about? So I emailed Christ Chapel and signed up for a new group that is just forming so no one will know each other and we will all be new together.
Next exciting thing: I get my braces tightened. Just a joke, that is not exciting, just a fact of life these days.
Next weekend I took off to potty train Kylie! She has been showing major readiness for a couple of months now and I am thinking it's go time. She is obsessed with going to the potty, she pretends to do it off and on all day. She asks if she can go all the time and I just keep telling her that we will potty train soon. She is always trying to remove her diaper and it's definitely time to bust out my 3 day potty training e book to get a refresher. Something happened last night that I am hoping is not a new trend around here. Zach went in to get Kylie this morning so we could get ready for church and there she was bare ass naked, butt in the air, sound asleep. She had taken off her pjs and diaper at some point between 7pm last night and 8am this morning. There was pee in her bed and pee on her beloved ni-night (ratty blanket that she is in love with). Even after she is day trained she will be in pull-ups at night for a while and I just hope she doesn't think she doesn't need them and take the liberty to remove the diapers herself.
So if I have the energy and I am not swamped with editing precious newborn photos, I will post all about potty training and of course the doctor visit. I have butterflies just typing about it.

Friday, June 10

8 weeks

I'm 8 weeks and the only way to control my tiny bump is by majorly sucking in and standing up straight and tall. And by the end of the day, that is a tall order. I didn't get out of my pjs until about 4:00 today. I was hit with the no energy stick. I have only been able to work about 2 or 3 hours a day, which is not very much. I am used to working like 6 or 8 hours most days. I didn't think I would be one of those moms that wanted to read up on my pregnancy this third time. But I am loving reading up! I have Your Pregnancy Week by Week and Great Expectations on my nook. I think I am just really excited to be pregnant since we tried for a while and since I know it is my last one.

We have some front runners for names, but I'm not so sure I want to share. I hate the blah comments that people make. Like "Oh, I knew a Blake and he was a coke head." There is always something a name will remind you of and when you start telling people before there is an actual sweet little baby to put with the name, I feel like people pick it apart. Maybe I'm just too sensitive right now, but we have a lot of life changing things going on, and not just the pregnancy. More on that later.
Be sending us good thoughts and prayers on tuesday for my first doctor appointment. I feel like everything will be great, but there is that underlying fear that the baby will have 6 arms or that something has gone terribly wrong in these fragile few months of growth.
I have no overwhelming boy or girl vibe. I will be looking forward to finally knowing who was in there all that time when we meet face to face in January. At first I felt certain it was a boy (but I also felt certain it was a boy with Blake and Kylie at the beginning), and now the girls want a baby sister and swear it's a girl, so I may be leaning toward girl. But I have no idea, I just feel like a girl who has been eating too much fast food, but really it's never enough fast food. I'm starting to crave the same things I did with Kylie and I think Blake too: cherry candies (like cherry starburst or cherry sours), pasta with shrimp, cheeseburgers and french fries. I had Zach bring me some fettuccine with shrimp on the way home from work and he said, "this is reminding me a lot of the last pregnancy!" What can I say, I like what I like.

Wednesday, June 8

My thoughts are controlled

My thoughts are absolutely controlled by food and cravings right now. I'm basically starving every hour or 2 and the only thing that will make me feel better is my craving du jour. Yesterday I drove about 15 minutes to get boston market for myself. Boston Market ALWAYS makes it's way into my pregnancy must haves. I mean, that mac and cheese, too good to be true. Other recent cravings, coke slurpees, cheese enchiladas with queso and this is the weirdest one, Mr. Pibb. Specifically Mr. Pibb on tap, which I haven't gotten to delight myself in yet. Allison said it's on tap at Chipotle so I will likely make my way there in the next day or two. As much as I want to stay slim, it's just probably not happening. At least not this trimester.

I am waking up many times a night to pee and sometimes I wake up starving, and always I wake up thirsty. Like that college hang over thirsty where you have to go zipping across the house to get some water asap.
We have all been sick, Blake started it, then I got it followed by Kylie and finally Zach. I need so much help around here since I feel so tired and useless but my mom can't come help because she doesn't want to get sick. My house is filthy, my work is piling up and I am just overwhelmed. Plus I have had this weird headache in my eyebrow for 2 days. It's intense.
I get to finally go to the dr. next week at 8 weeks, I am hoping and praying that all is well!

Thursday, June 2

Aw Crap.

Let the cravings and dry heaving begin, and a couple of other unpleasant symptoms that I prefer to not get into. Per my sketchy calculations I am 7 weeks tomorrow and the past 2 days have been wretched.

I have dry heaved twice today and was very shocked that vomit made no appearance. Especially the time I was dry heaving into the sink that had an old floppy pickle in there. I just knew that would put me over the edge. But no.
On top of that I have a sore throat and runny nose. Joy!
Right now what am I doing? Waiting on some soup that I just had to have. Zach rules!!
Some great news, this pregnancy is going to be a heck of a lot easier than pregnancy #2 because Blake is old enough and fairly responsible enough to be in charge of Kylie while I veg. Today they played library together for like an hour while I dozed off on the couch. When I was pregnant with Kylie, Blake was a mere 14 months when I started feeling the wrath of the queeze. Blake still needed me for everything including entertainment, and 2 kids (especially 2 girls close in age) are just so into playing together away from me for long periods of time. Not bad. I remember shutting the playroom doors and laying down on the floor falling asleep in hopes that if something went wrong Blake would scream and I would wake up to help. It was the best that I could do.
I do totally perk up when I am around people. I hang out with my neighbor and her kids almost every day and I always feel pretty good when I am around her or any other friends.
The girls are pretty set on the baby being a girl. Kylie wants to name him (she doesn't understand that you say him for a boy and her for a girl quite yet) Meelk (how she pronounces milk.) And Blake wants to name her Ladybug. So they really aren't much help in the name department. This is what Kylie has been saying about "him": I feed him milk, I hold him, I put the bottle in his mouth, I love him, He cold. Blake just likes to look at my belly button, poke around at it and act like a tiny baby is actually living in my belly button. But overall, she is excited and gets it.
I keep swearing that it's twins because my waist couldn't possibly be this fat already with just one baby. I would actually be shocked if it is. That's all me and my dime sized baby have for now.

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