Sunday, January 30

I'm not leaving for 25 more minutes

So I am going to blast out one more blog before I head to a My Vintage Baby sale with one of my newest, yet most favorite friends, Mindy.


After finding out I'm not pregnant, I have gone into some kind of fast paced fix-my-body-because-I-can't-after-I'm pregnant mode. I have made appointments with my plastic surgeon for a gross little something I'd rather not share, but I think I'm going to anyway. If gross dermatology problems disgust you then do not read the next paragraph.

My problem: Ok here goes....I have always had this flat interesting looking mole high up on my left rib cage. My old cheerleading coach had one too and told me that her doctor told her it was a 3rd nipple. Well, turns out these things aren't that uncommon. BUT, and there is a big but here, after I got pregnant with Blake the hormones racing through my body caused this teeny flat nipple thing to grow and look like a real nipple. No it's not big, and no, it doesn't really look like a normal nipple but if you look closely you can totally tell it's a nipple mini me. I hate this. And to make matters so much worse, and I can't believe I'm even going here, when I am nursing it can drip out milk. Not a lot, but I did notice a drip once or twice and freaked out and of course called Allison immediately so we could laugh at it and make fun of me. So my dermatologist referred me to a plastic surgeon for this "accessory nipple" and I have to get real surgery to get it removed because it is too complicated for my normal dermatologist to remove. So I am trying to get in for surgery on thursday. Please don't judge me or sign me up for the freak show :)

Next problem that I am going to make a consultation for this week: teeth and jaw. I need braces again and can't stand my off center teeth and constantly popping jaw. Adult braces sound pretty ugly and horrible, but I am willing to do it again to be happy with my smile. I think I also need my wisdom teeth removed.

I kind of like the fact that I haven't gotten pregnant when I know we can conceive so easily. It gives me comfort in God's timing and that this is just not it. Maybe it will be next month, but maybe it wont. We are not going to obsess about the baby's gender and try and pinpoint ovulation, we are just going to relax and know that no matter what we do, God has it and has always had it planned and in control. Now if it's not comforting to put all your trust in God and not in a pee stick ovulation test, I don't know what is.

A Birthday to Remember

Yesterday was my 29th birthday, 29 on the 29th, the "golden birthday" as some may call it. There were celebrations a plenty! Friday night Zach and I went out to dinner at Charlie Palmer in Dallas with the Pogues and the Gilmores. It was such a fun group and such a nice dinner. Thanks y'all and again we were not supposed to split the bill in thirds, I was going to pay for the whole thing! I got some awesome gifts, new Toms, PJs, nail polish, lip gloss, some gift cards. It was great!


My actual birthday was Saturday and I felt like I was on lifestyles on the rich and famous or something. My mom took me on a shopping spree, no limits, Northpark, wild extravaganza. I'm talking Chanel, Jimmy Choo, Neiman's, lots of great stuff. But even more fun than shopping till we dropped was spending the day just me and my sweet mom! I got 2 new swimsuits and I feel really cute in them which is tough for a mom of 2. We got me some silicone bathing suit inserts which makes a bad situation not quite so bad. So if you see me in my suit this year and think, oh that's not as bad as she says, it really is, I'm totally faking it with cutlets. I had to photograph a party that night and then once I got home we had Mellow Mushroom and cupcakes. A very happy birthday indeed. Things are really coming together for the Walker family so I am truly looking forward to my 30s!

Ordinary Stuff

Blake is so into school. Registration for next fall starts in a couple of weeks and I am enrolling her for 5 days a week and Kylie for 2. That will give me more time for photo editing and morning sessions and I am very pleased about that. We also have parent teacher conferences coming up and as a former teacher I can't wait to be on the parent side this time. Her school is awesome, her teachers are awesome, I just hope we get a good report on her.

Here she is all dressed up for western day at sch0ol. They read by the campfire, ate hot dogs, rode ponies (I'm not sure if these were real or some kind of pretend horses, you know how 3 year olds imaginations are) and did western stuff all day. Pink shiny boots are from Nordstrom and Blake likes to wear them approximately 12 hours a day.




And another ordinary day...

Zach cuddled up with the ladies watching a show. Blake and Kylie have gotten so close and play together all day every day. It was worth a rough first part of having a teeny baby and a not even 2 year old to have these sisters who entertain each other and love on each other now. They are into the same things and it is just the coolest thing to watch their friendship grow. They both want a baby sister and will have nothing to do with the thought of a baby brother. Maybe they know something we don't.

Thursday, January 27

Stone Cold & Stark White

Allison and I talk on the phone almost everyday and sometimes multiple times a day. Lately it's been 2, 3, sometimes 4 times. Reason being is Zach and I have been trying for a baby for, I guess a couple of months now. That is if I count that first month which was a useless try since my window had far past. So this is the month we have given it a real, honest, everything-we've-got try. I started taking pregnancy tests 6 days ago. I know this because I used my last pregnancy test this morning and they come in 3 packs. And with every test I give Allison a call, and with every test it's the same result. A stone cold, stark white negative. That's what we like to call it.


This whole time I'm thinking that I am testing too early, but I just can't help myself. If there is a test in the house, against Zach's wishes, I will take one everyday. Zach gets irritated with me because they are a bit expensive. So as I take one this morning, I get my stone cold, stark white and really don't think too much of it because I still don't think I have waited long enough and surely I will get at least a faint line in a day or two. With Blake we got pregnant on the first try and Kylie could be considered an accident although we were about to start trying when we found out I was already pregnant with her. My latest plan was to test one more time tomorrow and if I get another negative I will be free to drink as much as I want at my birthday dinner. Zach and I are taking my 2 besties and the husbands all out for a super nice dinner tomorrow night for my bday party.

To shorten my ramble, I got home from a photo session today in McKinney, still fairly hopeful about being pregnant and I started. Dang it! Well, I'm about 70% dang it and 30% hip hip hooray. 30% because of a few birthday plans, dinners, girl's nights, all that kind of stuff, and we have a vacation coming up that I would rather not be feeling early pregnancy symptoms for. But still, an overall dang it.

This means we will now be going on unofficial trying month 3 and official trying month 2. I have all my faith and trust in God's plan and perfect timing, but it's still kind of odd when I have grown accustomed to getting pregnant so effortlessly. Who knows what will happen? It may happen next month, it may take a year. I am fine with whatever, but it sure is hard to get your mind off of it when you are in trying mode. Wish us luck, send us up a prayer & give Zach a high five as we head into another cycle.

Monday, January 24

It Makes Perfect Sense

I put this on facebook the other day so excuse me if this is a repeat for you.


Blake gets easily frustrated, always has and if she is anything like me she probably always will. Especially now that I am off Lexapro (anti anxiety med) to get pregnant with Walker #3, but that is a whole new post. If I even want to go there.

So very often when she is in one of her frustrated fits she screams, "I quit myself!!" she is so serious and so mad and that is one of her coping mechanisms. And in addition to this phrase I usually hear, "I'm going home!" (even though we are always at home when she shouts this) as she stomps away to another room.


Kylie has been saying "see you tomorrow" lately and then she walks out of the room. She talks so much now I can't even keep up with the newest words and sentences. She has dry feet and she likes to say, "lotion feet" that's pretty cute. Today she brought me a bottle of stainless steel cleaner and followed it up with "lotion feet."

Sunday, January 23

Sorry!


So sorry to any readers I still have left. I have been overly busy with my business. Zach is about to divorce me if I don't stop working so much, but it's hard when I love it. So I have vowed to do no work on Sundays. Starting today of course. I haven't even been able to update my photography blog because I am editing photo sessions like 10 hours a day. No word if I'm pregnant or not. Hoping I am. I have never been busier in my life and just when I think I am going to have a slow month I pick up tons of new clients and book tons of new sessions. Not a bad problem to have but I'm still majorly struggling with the balance. I hired 2 assistants so that will help some. But as a control freak I don't want anyone else editing my pictures, or doing anything like that. I want to be the only one that takes and edits the photos to make sure they are exactly how I envisioned them. I did get a new pretty logo.



Friday, January 7

Oh Dear

Blake was very quiet while playing in my bathroom. That is two red flags, silence and being in the bathroom for more than a minute or two. I went in there and saw tampons strewn everywhere. Blake was having the best time with them. To Blake they were ladybug toothpicks and ladybug popsicles.


excuse the paper blinds, we are actually less than a week away from ordering our plantation shutters. Darn those things are costly!

Wednesday, January 5

Slackadelic

I slacked on Kylie's 18 month well check and didn't get her an appointment until she was almost 20 months. Then I slacked on posting about it and almost forgot entirely. I swore I would be as good as I was with documenting things for Kylie like I was for Blake. Everyone says you won't have time and won't even think about it and it's true. So here are the 18 month stats:

Weight: 24.3 lbs 42%
Height: 33 inches 76%
Head circumference (the boringest of stats in my opinion): 18.3 inches 39%

Looking back on her stats on the little chart they gave us at Dr. Z's office, there was a point that she was in the 96th percentile for weight at 2 months old. I can so remember how chubby she used to be and all the rolls going up and down her legs and even her arms. When I think about these stats, every time I imagine a room of 100 babies and they get lined up from skinniest to fattest and there is Kylie 4th from the fattest baby in the place. Funny thought.

Tuesday, January 4

Three's Company

With the recent thoughts of maybe being pregnant, we are still thinking about having a third baby. Oh who am I kidding, we've already started trying. Something about finding out we weren't pregnant made us realize how much we both would like to add another, and likely last, baby to our family. The fact that we've already started trying means pretty much nothing. Since getting pregnant is all about timing, I think we have already missed our window of opportunity for this cycle.


Now, I would be lying if I told you I didn't want a boy this time. But how fun would it be to have an all girl, girly crew of sweeties? These are some of the thoughts that echo in my head off and on all day. As if I get to choose the sex anyway. Although, Zach and I have researched the best ways to conceive a boy and it's not so fun for the lady involved. You can imagine my face looking at Zach in horror as he is reading to me on his ipad about different positions to increase the chances of a boy. But I hate to even put it out there that I want a boy because I would be overjoyed to have a third daughter. It's just one of those things where I would like to experience being a mom of a boy, but I won't be devastated if I get the honor of being another baby girl's mommy.

And just to drive me a little more insane, we (I) really don't want to find out the sex until delivery. Has anyone else done that? If so please talk me into it, it seems like such a cool experience to hear the words, "it's a ____!" in the delivery room. Plus after already having 2 kids, I realize that there is no rush to get a nursery done. They don't sleep in there for quite a while and there is plenty of time to figure all that out afterward. I'm not a yellow or green nursery kind of girl. If it's a boy the room will be all boyed out and if it's another girl it will probably be even girlier than the last two rooms.

So the journey has begun. I'm really excited to see where it takes us.

 
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